“The Deep South (here in Northeast Georgia) is rife with a violent culture that plays itself out in a disrespectful culture all over our district, home, school, and work included. We needed to change the definition of “bullying” and identify the participants (bullies, victims, and bystanders.)” – Yvonne E. Richardson, Middle School Teacher
BULLY
developed & written by Kendall F. Person
video short-documentary edited by Crystal Fairrington
visual design by You Will Rise Project – Rise Above Bullying
Young Robert Troy was still wearing his soccer cleats and found it difficult to maneuver the usual sharp turns, so he willed his legs to run even faster. The rains made the ground slick, and on more than one occasion, he stumbled, nearly losing his edge. Making a quick turnabout, on 1st Street, he hoped to make his getaway a lot sooner, because he was running out of breath. He jumped over ole Ms. Bernard’s chain link fence, nearly high jumped the backside, finding endurance he did not know was left.
Her pit bull was ready for him this time. He sprung into action, jumping up on all four legs. Growling, foaming at the mouth, and giving chase, determined to catch the intruder and chew him into bite sized bits. But Robert would have none of this. On this day, just like all others, since entering the game of cat and mouse, he was just too quick. He had run for his life so many times, he often wondered if there was a reason for him to live.
The pack of three bullies were hot in pursuit. As angry as the pit-bull, but more determined than any dog could be. Unless it were rabid, it could not feel what they felt. They hated that guy, more than anything else. But whenever they were asked why, only one word could either of them emit, “Because!”
Robert was an average teenage boy. He was decent at sports, but by no means did he excel. And while he had a certain boyish charm, he was far from Brad Pitt or Denzel. He held a small circle of friends, was attentive in his classes, lettered in two sports and was accepted to a local, four-year college, but Robert did not stand out. Not smart enough to be a geek, or impatient enough to be a dropout. There were no NCAA coaches scouting him, and no scholars asking for his advice. 
While he never had a girlfriend, neither did he come out as being gay. He was the same color as his aggressors, and all of their parents prayed the same way. By all accounts, the mean boys should have left Robert alone. He was no threat and no bother, just a young man trying to live his life and grow into a man living on his own. As Robbie ran through the alley, calculating every step, every turn, he garnered he had outran his chasers, who were probably bent over, out of breath.
But while he did not know it, his celebration would be premature, for the stumbles had cost him dearly, and the bullies made up ground. They saw him hit first street, then watched him jump the fence. Fans of Animal Planet, especially the wild dogs, who hunted in packs with strategy, being more successful than all other carnivores.
So what they lacked in endurance, and were no match in human speed, by putting their heads together, they devised a coordinated plan. Each went a different direction, cutting off all exits for the unsuspecting mouse.
A mother’s intuition, regardless of what teenagers tend to believe, is rarely ill-conceived. They know when their babies are crying, long before the sound reaches the door. They sense where there is mischief, and can see right through the best spun story, even before her child gets to the end. Mother’s know when the darkness is hovering and even know when their child is in need of them.
Roberta Troy had found the perfect man. Tall, dark and handsome may have caused her to take a second look, but it was the way he treated her, like a flower, a bouquet of the sweetest roses, that her grandmother grew, along the banks of her backyard brook. She would give him two children, fraternal twins, a boy and a girl. Roberta would learn too late of the complications she would have. Robert arrived with brown eyes and a baby’s soft skin. But when the doctor held his sister, she made no sounds, having died days earlier within the comfort of her mother’s womb. So Robert grew up as an only child, a pitch-perfect image of his father. And While she grieved for her only daughter, she gave thanks for her son.
So when the alarm went off inside her head, her husband away on business and brothers too far away, she turned and looked in the mirror. Not knowing if she was being silly or too much of a mothering hen, but the twitch in her left eye, and the itch along her inner thigh, was all she needed to know. Her little man was in trouble. She grabbed hold of her keys, and the first solid thing she found. She dashed out the door, with a Louisville Slugger, temporarily standing in for Robbie’s dad.
The rains had gotten heavier, and Robert had pushed his young body as hard and fast as it would go. Believing he had lost them, and with only two blocks till home, he pulled back on his internal throttle, slowing the run down to a jog. Reaching the alley’s end, he had nearly forgotten what he was running for. He would not wait long for the reminder, which in an instant, became all too clear. The first coward, came at him from his blindside swinging a two by four. Making contact with his ribs, put Robert in a state of shock. The second of the trio, as Robert was falling forward, landed a strong right hook, just above the chin and below the left jaw. Bully three, still trying to catch his breath, felt like a big man, even beat on his chest. Words of a vile nature, flew from his mouth. Robert heard none of them, but he did feel the solid blow of a steel-towed army boot, before collapsing with one broken leg on the pavement of a city street.
“Changing our students is difficult when we have no handle on their homes or earlier development. This coming year beginning with the last day of post-planning, we have begun a process to revamp the behavioral expectations of our entire school, staff and students.” – Franklin County School District, Carnesville, Georgia USA
The young that survive bullying may grow into adults and become the bully themselves. Or the bullies of our youth may be the same bullies that taunt and tease, even though you are a full grown adult. Solving the riddle of ‘why are people mean’, has all but stomped the experts in every field. From students of the Bible, to psychologists, practicing at the top of their field. There are a few important traits, in which all do agree, that their is a need for power from the bullying, perhaps a streak of sadistic greed. Are they sociopathic? Could they simply be nuts? Do they suffer abuse, perhaps neglect at home? The answer may surprise, for it is all of the above. Bullies, unlike culprits of other serial crimes, derive with no set pathology, no sudden twitches, no strange curiosities, no foul smells emitting from their homes. Their homes may be intact, or broken, or some semblance of the two. They can be male or female, straight or gay. They may be Christians or atheists, Muslims or Jewish. Chinese or Japanese, South African, or American.
Perhaps of more importance, than being unable to identify a potential bully, is the seldom discussed factual knowledge, that many victims maintain their emotional (and physical) scars into adulthood. Rather your community chooses to follow Franklin County or You Will Rise, or perhaps some nations will follow Norway, who all but cleansed their borders of the meanness that lies within, becoming a part of the solution deserves a helping hand. Less we awaken another day, happy to see the sunrise, then tune in to our local or world broadcast, to learn of another suicide.
Rain coming in torrents, leaving puddles in its wake. Wind, howling like darkness is what it needs to feed its gust. Roberta turned the corner in her blood red suburban van. Even with the windshield wipers whirling, she could hardly see a thing. But she felt a pain across her back, than another down her leg.
Robert was a runner, not because he was a coward or a sissy, the names the bullies would daily shout. But his school had no tolerance toward violence, not caring who was the initiator of the fight. All involved would be suspended, a few repeat offenders, had even been thrown out. Robert, however average, wanted a future, and to at least try and fulfill his dreams. His shouting, angry aggressors, had been expelled the first of spring. So now they aimed their full fury, on a young man that should not have meant a thing. On the ground, covered in rain, blood flowed down, accompanied by a throbbing pain. But when he noticed the deep red Suburban, he only knew one thing, he be damned if they would hurt his mother, or be victimized while she screamed.
So he kicked with his good leg, summoning fury equal to his attackers. Landing his first blow, dead center in one of the bullies crouch. He was the weaker of the three, following the real bad boys like a puppy dog, it was no surprise to anyone, when he cuffed his groin and bowed out. Roberta remembered the girls who would tease her and always put her down. She was never good enough to talk too and was ostracized at a very young age, by a trio of mean girls, who had no reason to be mean. Roberta was a beautiful woman. Voluptuous in every way. An average academic, with average ambition to move up the corporate ladder, she was one hell of a devoted mother, and the wolves were after her child.
While she recovered from those years of being bullied, fortunate her parents had moved away, she would always feel regret, believing the mean girls, still held onto a piece of her self-respect. Arriving upon the scene, she saw the same bitter girls. She whirled the bat in one hand, and reached for her son with the other. Robert grabbed hold of his mother’s extended hand, stood on his good leg, and the two former victims, refused to be victimized any more. They matched the bullies blow for blow, until the yellow raced up the bullies back. The duo of mother and son, emerged with the upper hand, forcing a waving of the white flag…and satisfaction of seeing the bullies running scared.
the end
Thank you for coming. We hope you enjoyed our first blog-post feature presentation. If you enjoyed the show, please share with friends and family. If you are enthusiastic about the blog, along with your continued and valued readership, you can support our efforts (my Niece and I) by visiting Amazon and purchasing a copy of An Angry World. If you do not have a Kindle, simply download a FREE Kindle Reader here.
Coming in June: the release of The Remembrance, an erotic thriller (a novel), along with Capturing Spring, a heartfelt drama (a novel) both in ebook format. We are working to provide paperback copies as well.
Developed & Written by Kendall F. Person
Video-short documentary by Crystalkay Fairrington
Drawings Courtesy of You Will Rise – Rise Above Bullying
Special appreciation to Yvonne E. Richardson, 1000 Words or less
Special gratitude to Charly Priest, Crazy Life
this is... The Neighborhood 
Going along with this post, I think you’d like to link or at least visit Emily Lindin’s website at http://www.unslutproject.com …she’s putting up her diary of the time period in her life that she got teased and it’s a great project/idea. I’ve also posted your blog feature presentation on her Wattpad account where she’s also putting her book: The UNSLUT Project, up in hopes you guys can maybe do something together; you’re about bullying in general and she has specific experiences, so it’s a nice fit I thought.
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Thank you for your input and collaborative spirit. I will head over to Ms. Lindin’s site right now and introduce myself.
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Kendall. I appreciate the reference and will read as you request!! updward and onward.
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Reblogged this on syco1.
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Thanks for following my comic blog-welcome! I was bullied as a kid, so it is cool that you like my work! Will check out your stories on here. 🙂
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Wow. Really touching. I have also been bullied myself so I can relate to this post in particular. Thank you so much for choosing to follow me, otherwise I wouldn’t know your profile 🙂
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We are in the fight together. Must understand, empathize, and support each other — regardless of the reason for being bullied/mistreated!
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any form of oppression is so sad, so inhumane, and so often trivialized until it becomes person — a loved one gets bullied. Why not care about those you don’t know?? we are all in this life together…
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Hi, thanks for following my blog.
Like everywhere else in the world, bullying is a major problem in India too. In most cases people involved in this are worthless and have no specific aims in their lives. They derive sadistic pleasure by putting other people down.
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Thank you for following my blog. I love your writing style.
There were few students who tried to bully me in college. What made it worse was that I was going through a very turbulent family life at that time. Good part is that i did not take any crap from them and gave it back to those idiots in full swing. We all have the courage to fight such people. I feel bullies have inferiority complex and need ego boasts by making others feel small and helpless.
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What a well written and compelling story about bullying. The use of videos reminds the reader that bullying is real and rampant. I think part of bullying in school is also the mob mentality. One person starts it, and the others join in just because they get swept by the strength of the emotion. It’s really sad.
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I was hoping that the combination would deliver more of a punch. Thank you for commenting on that. And I agree with you. Few bullies operate without an audience.
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Very well written story. The addition of videos reminds the reader that bullying is real and is widespread. In the case of school, I also think there is a mob factor in bullying. One starts it, and others join in just because everyone else is doing it. your story has been written with great empathy.
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keep in mind that bullies are cowards… need to not back down. Of course, counseling is essential — many are wounded and want to wonund others… sad, sad, sad, real, real, rea.
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when you hate yourself, you are likely to bully.
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Wow…what a ride, this story. Our world needs more love, tolerance, and acceptance of those whom we judge to be different. thank you for following my blog. I will surely follow yours to see how you continue to unfold your stories. Best wishes, my blogging friend.
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A pleasure for me to be a follower of your blog. So good to know you enjoyed BULLY. It means a lot to me to have worked on this project with my Niece and for it to have been for a worthy cause.
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I was bullied from 6th to 12th grade by the boys that rode my school bus. They threw my books out the bus window, smashed my lunch in my hair, and told people I picked my nose and ate it. I went home in tears every day, but the bus driver, school officials, and other parents refused to do anything about it. I begged my mom to put me in a different school, but we didn’t have the money for private school, which was our only other option. By 12th grade, I was fed up and ready to fight back. I showed up to school with pink hair, a fake nostril piercing (before that was something anyone but rock stars did), heavy metal t-shirts, ripped jeans, and an attitude. It was a hard year and I wasn’t sure I would even graduate, as I was in trouble frequently and hasn’t been keeping my grades up, because I was putting so much effort into sticking up for myself. Home wasn’t much better, as my father is a pedophile and my mother thought she was doing the right thing keeping the family together despite that.
I turned out okay. But, the really amazing part…. My cruelest bully is now one of my best friends. After long talks and lots of tears from both of us, he apologized, kissed my cheeks and hugged me like the world was ending. He bullied me because he felt inadequate. Picking on me got him attention and made people laugh. It took a near death accident for him to recover from his bullying tendencies and embrace his former enemies. Now, not a week goes by without a message from him, telling me he loves me and us grateful that I’m in his life.
I know a lot of kids have it harder than I did. But, there’s hope, and I believe high school to be a world of its own… A world that ends when you graduate. In my experience, College is a fresh start and high school literally no longer matters anymore.
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I am glad to hear your very heart-warming reunion with some who has changed, and made a meaningful difference in your present, adult life.
While I am not exactly *close* to people who bullied me in my youth, I do have a friendship with one who is a close friend of my brother. I have also known others who at least have come to treat me with respect and decency.
I did have it hard, sometimes. I was pretty much a coward, though. I didn’t try to fight back until my second year of eight grade. That’s when things changed, I didn’t have to do much (back then) to make it happen. I fought one guy, and was holding my own until his friend jumped in. The bullying did not end completely until I was an adult, but after that things were much better, easier.
But I had one other advantage that many do not: a brother who became fiercely anti-bully. In fact, it might even be a situation that supports the psychologist’s hypothesis in the documentary above. My brother was a trouble maker. Dropping M80s in urinals in elementary school, getting into fights; all the usual. He was the kind of person many young bullies are. Still he did not become a bully…because of me. He became the person who always fought for the victims. If he saw it happening, he stopped it. Forcefully, if he had to, no matter who it was. Things could have been a lot worse for me than they were.
Unfortunately, that path sometimes caused him a lot of trouble and pain. More than I have ever experienced. I couldn’t possibly make it up to him, but he doesn’t care. I am more than grateful for that.
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Kendall, WordPress emailed me that you had taken a look at my blog … you are my second ‘like’ … thank you and I’m very new to the blogasphere (?) but am certainly enjoying the process
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Reblogged this on it writes itself.
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What a noble person you are for supporting such a noble cause. Thank you for visiting, sharing and lending your support. You are appreciated.
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In fear of being too cheesy, I suppose you are the one to thank. It’s people and posts like this that made me start a blog. We can’t change the world, but we do what we can and that makes a difference to the world.
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I am so thankful I found this blog. I want to do all I can to support anti-bullying actions. Although I was never bullied, I feel extremely attached to people who get hurt by other people.
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This has got to be one of the most important articles and video documentaries I have ever encountered. And your writing style is *very* descriptive, powerfully engaging. Wonderful work!
While I agree with the psychologist in the video (it makes sense, although it might be prudent for me to look up his work), I would just like to add to his ideas. I believe that our society, our culture, breeds, nurtures, and encourages *rampant* bullyism (not a word; let’s coin it) because it is dominated by the bullying principles of corporatism. This is not to say that bullies would not exist anyway without a corporate oligarchy to rule us, but the problem spreads exponentially when the driving force of a system is “profit at any cost.”
The basis of capitalist society is supposed to be fair competition. Unfortunately, when corporations gain excessive wealth and power they undermine the spirit of fair competition just as much as their activities undermine the democratic process. Corporations assimilate or eliminate their competition, and they exert their power and influence wherever they want–with little or no opposition, no *consequences*.
This dynamic is prevalent in all aspects of our society, all the way down to the bottom. Eventually, we all learn that we cannot really succeed in our society unless we step on everyone else who might have the chance of rising to the same position. One way to eliminate the competition is to relieve them of all their ambitions while they are still young. Obviously, children and teenagers do not think this way. It is almost subliminal; we can see it happening around us everyday–although someone always justifies it, dismisses it, or somehow makes it look benign (or a least like some kind of normal, accepted practice)–and we soak it in whether we realize it or not.
It is very effective.
I was bullied throughout my childhood. When I was only about four years old, I remember being surrounded by a group of kids and beaten. I can’t remember how long it lasted, but I do remember somehow getting away and running home. Other students in Hillendale Elementary bullied me so badly I had to be removed from the school and placed in a special school. Chatsworth was good for me; many of the other kids were just like me and bullying was minimal. I do not recall anyone bothering me there, in fact. But the, when I returned to regular public schools, it started all over again. Middle school was the worst. Always, some other student felt the need to punch me, kick me, spit on me, ridicule me, you name it. I responded very badly to this because I had emotional problems (later identified as anxiety disorders). Sometimes I would pick up a chair and toss it across the room, or have a screaming, crying fit.
Rather than go through that again, I often did not go to school. When I left in the morning, I looked for a place to hide out for the day until I could go home.
This really hurt me, too. I was, until then, an above average student. Because I was afraid to go to school, I asked my mom if she could get me into something better, like a parochial school (I’m actually glad I didn’t go to one of those, but that’s another story). There was a small church school in our neighborhood back then, Essex Christian Academy; It was just a little building, maybe about as long as three single-story houses. Unfortunately, we were poor and she could not afford it. So, in a way, bullying deprived me of the education I wanted, and I have had to struggle with my own inner demons every time I’ve tried to further my education since then.
The bullying did not diminish until I surrendered and started to be just like everyone else. It didn’t end completely; but it had slowed down significantly enough that I wasn’t quite so afraid anymore. When you’re at a party, you’re often just another guy drinking beer and hanging out with your buddies. I was still different from most of my peers, but I had become enough like them that they were more likely to leave me alone.
As a young adult, I regret to say that I, on occasion, behaved like a bully too. It had rubbed off, even though I had never wanted to be like that. Thankfully, I recognized what I was doing before it was too late and made every effort to change or, more accurately, try to return to the person I was and wanted to be when I was a child.
Of course, when I did that, I opened myself to become the victim again, but that’s also a long story all by itself, and I’ve already taken up too much of your time.
Sorry about the rant. It’s just that this is a subject that strikes too close to home for me. I thank you for what you’re doing here, spreading awareness. I think I may have just given you an idea of how I appreciate it, too.
Good luck with all your work. I can’t wait to see more.
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A very well written blog! Thank you for following mine, as it led me to read and follow your’s 🙂
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First, i would to say thank you for following my blog 😊 and also when i read this its always a good reminder to be aware of bullying and how to stop and take action of it, I was also bullied once but now that group of girls and I are the best of friends and we do everything together, they couldnt do anything to me because I always nice to them and they finally stopped and said sorry and you can always confront people with LOVE, and KINDNESS the way the God loves each and everyone one of us … even the bullies 😉
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You are quite welcome for the follow. It is my pleasure. >> And thank you for adding your wisdom and insight to this platform. You are appreciated.
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Bullying is seriously offensive and I just love the way you have made the presentation…and thanks a lot for following me 🙂
http://cinejuana.wordpress.com/
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A pleasure for me to follow you. Thank you for your public comments on ‘BULLY”. You are appreciated.
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Wow, great writing! Thanks for using your talents to bring awareness about bullying, it’s terrible how people can hurt others & make them feel so alone that some kids feel the only way out is suicide. Thanks for shedding another light on it all while adding a satisfied ending for those who have been bullied : p
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You are quite welcome and thank you for making your support public, as well. You are appreciated.
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Reblogged this on pazzhas.
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Thanks for writing about this. It is sad that bullying is an ongoing problem in an what we call a ‘civilized’ era. I believe that often the bully is lacking self-respect and tries to regain this respect by bullying others. Of course this is a destructive strategy where both parties lose. I share a poem and link for kids on my website, see http://anarette.com/2013/05/28/bullies/
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Thank you for adding to this platform. You are appreciated.
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thank you for this phenomenal story – I too was bullied as a teen and it is demoralizing, it took me years to regain my self esteem and to overcome the anxiety it caused in my life. Bullying has become more aggressive over they years and something has to be done to stop it, too many of our young children are being subjected to the attacks both verbal and physical of insecure cowards who get their significance by demoralizing others.
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Thank you for adding your personal story to this platform. I know that it will help others who are going through such unnecessary turmoil. You are appreciated.
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As a teacher and a mother, I have seen children bully others. While in class one day, three middle school boys were taunting a fourth boy, calling him names and throwing spitballs at him. This was going on behind my back as I was writing on the board. I turned around and said loudly, “And when he comes to school next week with a gun, looking for the three of you, I will be the first to point out the place where you three are hiding.” You could have heard a pin drop. After an eternity of silence, one of the mean boys stood up an apologized. The other two just hung their heads in shame. One problem with bullies is that teachers won’t admit there is a problem and do something about it. I believe they are afraid also. I refuse to live in fear and I will not allow anyone to be bullied in my presence. It sickens me. Thanks for bringing the issue to light.
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Wow, I am so impressed. You are not just a writer, your posts are amazing art. I really am moved by it all. I just started writing myself and have been torn whether blogging is the right platform for me. I was feeling emptiness in my day to day and my writing filled me. I started writing and realized that this is what I want to do, most importantly this is what makes me feel good. My blog is a work in process with very few readers, but I am going to try to keep up with it and we will see where it takes me. I am truly inspired by your blog and your messages. I can’t wait to explore it when I get more time. Thank you for visiting my blog because it led me here.
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Thank you for following my lead. Readers like yourself, are in inspiration to me.
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Thanks for the follow, love your style of writing, and keep preaching the truth
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You are very welcome and thank you so much for visiting and sharing your comments publicly. You are appreciated.
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this is so powerful, makes me wanna cry, I can fully relate. You’re writing skills are just phenomenal. Thank you so much for this.
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Please excuse me if you have read the following statement on this site before, but it rings true and is the perfect way for me to express myself to readers like you…I consider myself a performer and fictional writer at heart. But I am do not take for granted this platform that I have been given. So even while trying to entertain the masses, it is important for me to try and make a difference however, I can. Thank you so much for your sincere, kind words. You inspire me.
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We have come together as kindred souls and I am honored to be a part of your life. Your thoughts and messages run deep within my heart and I thank you for making a difference in this world we call life. There’s so much pain and suffering, to which I have experienced and still endure but I shall rise up to every occasion with love in my heart. Much peace and love to you….
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My best friend of 30 years and I, in actuality do not get along. But we understood a long time ago, that there are no coincidences in life, and the people who are with you in times of need, are the ones who have been placed there for a reason. For over a decade of my life, I bounced from job to job, made tremendously wrong choices in how I treated myself and my life. But that was the journey I was suppose to take, for if I had not I may never have recognized God has blessed, for a reason, to hold this gift. I would have never imagined that a place called WordPress would be a a community entered as strangers, but where love, respect, enrichment and even entertainment, would assure us a permanent home. Thank you FeatherMoon. Your words are appreciated.
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Nicely put together Kendall, a well constructed piece.
I have experienced bullying on a first and second-hand basis. My daughter has a condition called Aspergers Syndrome. You may have already heard of it, but in case you haven’t, it’s a high-functioning form of autism. In my daughter’s case, she panics when confronted by loud noises, cruelty of any kind, and witnessing injustice, to name just a few. In other words, she’s just like you and me, only more so.
Whenever you’re different from others, you become a target for bullying. And my daughter Jillian was no different – except that her abuse was that of exclusion. In her time at school the girls whose differences were on the inside formed their own little cliques and excluded her from joining them.
As her Dad, this broke my heart, as it still does today. I remember an instance particularly keenly. She and I were in a line, waiting to sign up for, and for her to attend a church weekend retreat. Jillian was going into this weekend not knowing any of the other 50 or so girls who would also be in attendance. Consequently I watched from the side as she attempted on several occasions to make conversation with a girl standing in front of us in the line.
I could tell that she was trying to break the ice and make a friend that she could sit next to and talk to over the upcoming couple of days. As a 13-14 year old girl, going into an event like that without an accompanying friend is a daunting process, especially in a church or school related setting where everyone else seems to know each other. But no, this potential companion steadfastly parried her away every time. No doubt, this girl herself had her own group of pals already inside that she was eagerly awaiting meeting. But Jillian didn’t – no-one ahead looking forward to seeing her.
She wound up coming home early, calling me to pick her up after yet another few hours of isolation and loneliness amongst a large group of girls her age. Another time where she somehow couldn’t seem to crack that mysterious code that would allow her inside to the warmth and fellowship of a group of friends. Only this time I was there to see it happen in microcosm.
I guess that it was (and is still in my mind) such a sad remembrance for me, is that I remember not fitting in myself at school at a similar age. The one difference here between her experience and mine was that at least I could say to her, “I understand, I know what it’s like Jillian, I’ve been there myself. Teenage years are a lousy, rotten, miserable place to be when you don’t fit in with the crowd. Lonely and aching to be a member of the club, yes, I remember and know exactly what that’s like.” But it will be better in a few years, just hang on in there until you’re a little older and it will be a memory only. You will develop the true friendships that you are seeking when you leave school.
The above seems to me to be the key to two things; firstly, bullying, and much more importantly, why God has put us here. Bullying is caused by an instinct within us all to want to be part of the crowd, to avoid the loneliness and separateness that we start to feel when we become teenagers. Why do we start to feel that way at that particular age? I believe that it’s because it’s our first experience that we aren’t just a part of our parents family, of our mother and father’s existence. We’ve started to realize on some level in our being that we have a responsibility for our actions.
And more than that, what are we going to do with our lives? That is a potentially shattering realization for a 13 year old teenager. What are you going to do with your life? To avoid having to consider the answer to that question, I believe that kids gravitate towards cliques, groups and gangs – a group identity that allows the member to avoid those thoughts, and to focus on those outside, those who don’t seem to fit in, and always in a hostile form. It maybe as seemingly innocuous as excluding a person from your group but, in essence, that action comes from the same root as does what we might call “full fledged” bullying.
There is more that I have to write on this issue, including my experiences as a bully, … but enough for a “comment”! Thank you Kendall for first “liking” my blog, and thereby causing me to come and read your thought inspiring post.
sincerely wishing you God’s blessing,
Dave
prophecy102.com
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Dave – Your wisdom, your faith and your willingness to share your experiences and your beliefs are welcomed here. Thank you for visiting, for reading and for adding to our platform of change.
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hurt people…hurt.
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the world has changed so much. even the bullying has become so much worse (not to say that bullying was EVER okay or should be accepted). i thank my lucky stars all the time that i was never bullied. at a whopping 4’8″ i feared that’s exactly what would have happened in high school and for some reason it didn’t. yes there were the occasional comments, looks and jokes but nothing that i felt was really bullying. i was so lucky. this is such an important issue to talk about and address. this is something that must change, especially with all the internet bullying that’s happening now – the use of texts, social media and other ways of belittling someone is just so unacceptable. thank you for writing this and sharing.
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Thank you for writing this. This is an extremely important issue. An experience of being bullied can psychologically affect an entire lifetime.
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Agreed. Thank you for visiting, reading and sharing your thoughts openly.
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Thank you for discovering my blog and leading me to your corner of the web world. Such an important topic and you do a great job of bringing attention to it.
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You are quite welcome and thank you for supporting my community and adding your thoughts to a platform that means so much.
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Nice and haunting.It’s just sad.Sad that people have to do this type of things to people like them.I like the Robert Troy story-it was really nice:) I appreciate the happy ending,it’s nice to know that sometimes,the victims win and the bullies lose.
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I am so glad that the happy ending is being well received. I have a tendency to go with realism over nice, but as I was writing, I felt that this story, this topic, deserved some happiness.
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Aww you’re a good writer^^
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Fight bullying and never give up, it is sickning and should never be accepted. Great Post and well done for writting it. Bullying should not be tolerated anywhere.
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Thank you for support of this topic and platform. You are very much appreciated.
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Thanks for following my blog and leading me to your very thought provoking blog. I love your “movie” theme and your writing style.
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It was a risk, that I am so glad that we took. Readers, like yourself, have been so positive and supportive of not just me, the topic and the platform that I have tried to build. Thank you for such kind, sincere words. As for following your blog…well…the pleasure is all mine.
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The power of one to make a difference. I believe that. I was bullied in middle school and the first two years of high school. Glad you’re making a difference.
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Thank you for that specific comment. It means so much.
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I certainly think that bullying is a disease and it needs to stop but you have a lovely way of expressing yourself. love it.
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You, your comments and your support of this platform are very much appreciated. Please, come back and visit again, you are welcome any time.
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Being bullied myself didn´t turn me into a bully I just became aware that I could punch and fight equally or that much better than any other guy, if he confronts me.(I´m 30 now and can talk my way over a bully, it did take time though in my early twenty´s fist´s started flying quite quickly if I found a guy thinking he could bully me around so I would be the one who´d give him a warning first and not so subtle one).
“difficult when we have no handle on their homes or earlier development”Franklin County. This is a slippery slope, I don´t want the government to interfere in personal things, they won´t solve the problem and can make it worst. Good intentions often have unintended bad consequences.
I have a theory, someone said that often complicated questions have simple answers: Bullying? It´s life. That simple. Guy´s or gals, who are just mean, other´s that will bully because they don´t want to be left out of the group of friends if they seem in their eyes week because they didn´t bully, and that pretty much is it. You can´t change human behaviour. But I can be wrong, which happens often.
Good you put this out there to bring awareness hopefully it will work on some people who are bullies, but again if they are bullies it´s likely that this is a subject that they´ll browse over the internet thinking how stupid it is. But actually doing something to try to change some behaviour of some people for the better is always a good goal.And looking forward to your book. Stay Frosty.
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Thank you, my friend. And thanks for your help in getting the presentation put together. You are appreciated.
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People can at least change their own behavior, as you have. Education is the key. And you’re right about the government; they’re not likely to make things better since they are part of the problem anyway. They have to first examine and change their own behavior before they can have a positive effect of any kind.
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Oh…sorry. I meant to say you’re also right about bullying being a part of life; however, it has gone way too far and infected everything. Something needs to be done about that.
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Great story. Like many I who’ve posted before me was bullied. It didn’t make me a better person and it takes a long time to work out of any system, personal or institutional.
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But you are watching. There are no overnight cures for any behavioral pattern. But consistently emerging oneself in positive reinforcements, will lead to a self-examination of the person who we are and the person we wish to be. Thank you for reading and sharing. Your are appreciated too.
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@amboo1985
I used to speack sarcasm as my second language but now “Non sum qualis eram.”
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“I am not what I use to be.” What a beautiful thought, notion and transformation. Thank you for sharing those words within this forum. You are appreciated.
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@Kendall F.Person
The pleasure is all mine. I thank you too for your work.
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Sir, your words cast a perfect picture spell. A very necessary message sent in a splendid manner. Would read your posts on regular basis.
Thank you for following my ordinary post :).
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Thank you for your kind words and for taking in this discussion. You are appreciated. And you are quite welcome.
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Bullying is one of the reasons I pulled my kids out of school. My son was choked during recess by his bully and the teachers did not care to notice. I am so thankful there was one brave girl who put a stop to it…she is a hero to me.
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I am thankful for the one brave girl as well. thank you for sharing your story.
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I really like the way you’ve written this. I was also a victim of bullying and it still gets to me. Sometimes when I’m really angry or feel belittle and mocked it sparks a memory or two.
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I am sorry for the long-lasting affect that bullying has had in your life. But thank you for sharing such personal incite, for it will go along way in demonstrating the power the crime of bullying has.
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Hi, I just wanted to add that your blog inspired me to write a particular piece of my own. I always put off writing it because it sounded petty every time I tried to. Reading this helped me write it from another angle that isn’t angry and almost hopeful. Thank you.
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😦 ….sigh….yet ANOTHER reason we homeschool!
It is greatly diminished, but there are still neighborhood kids…but I am very involved. Yet there are adults(?!) who would say kids should be/stay in those “places” (how could the be called “schools”?) to learn how to “handle” that experience because that’s the “real world.” Seriously?!?? In the real world I would quit a job like that & I have left relationships like that!
But to force a CHILD to remain in such a life threatening situation is denial, if it is not ITSELF a form of bullying – what LOVING parent would be so cruel as to abandon their child to such abuse? This momma bear defends my own, but also the young of others, and God help the person I see do such a thing…
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This is an open, inviting platform, and all comments are welcome. You are welcome. But to label a parent, whom you have never met, in a situation, that you are not in, as a bully or uncaring, does not add to the solution, but rather incites a different type of debate (argument) that incites but does not solve the mission or the envisioned outcome of this particular platform. I have close friends who chose to home school. It fit into their ideology, and as a two parent household, it allowed the option that worked well for them. But I have recently read a post about homeschooling (here at wordpress) where a homeschooling enthusiasts lays out very real challenges, although stands firmly behind her decision. Another fair and balanced report from the CBS Chicago lays out the pros…and Yes, the cons of homeschooling. But see, already I digress off topic. One can easily recommend that homeschooling is an option to combat bullying in school (although what about bullying in the workplace, or on sports teams, or within the neighborhood) without throwing stones. We throw no stones here. Please accept my response in the spirit in which it was given.
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You’re right; it *is* a form of bullying. It’s basically institutionalized. The way I see, it plagues and haunts every aspect of our society. And it isn’t new. In some way, one part of the population or another of the U.S. has always bullied some other part (because they were “superior,” “more evolved,” what have you, or simply greedy), and I know I’m putting it mildly. The U.S. has been known to bully people abroad too.
I’m glad you are able to home school. My son goes to Maryland School for the Deaf, which has it’s share of bullies, but he’s doing fine there (even has excellent grades). Which is odd, because he’s a fifteen-year-old who has “come out of the closet.” In other schools, that would make him a target. With him, I’m actually more concerned that *he* will be the bully, sometimes. Doesn’t stop me from loving him, of course, and trying to teach him not to hurt people.
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My heart raced all the way until the end. A VERY uncomfortable read.
I drove up to the theater to take my son home after a show. He was 13. As I watched the door for him to exit, I saw someone who looked like him fall out of the door being punched and kicked by 3 bullies onto the sidewalk. I threw my car into park and jumped out, but I had no weapon, just a cell phone. Thank God, I only had to jump out of my car with a very loud, “WTF”! My threatening approach followed by, “I’m calling the cops” was enough for them to run. I called the police and followed these boys as they ran through a near-by neighborhood. They split up so I could only follow one of them. The police finally found us and were able to catch him. My son had to identify him on the spot as one of his attackers. My husband and I thought it was important that we take my son to court and press charges. It was important for him to know that it was not okay to be treated this way and we were there to protect him.
My stomach stayed in a knot for a week. I’m sure his did too. I will never know the extent to which he was affected.
I haven’t thought of this in a very long time. My son is 23 yrs. old now, and about to have his first son.
I thank God for Mothers Intuition.
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Thank you for sharing such a personal, fortunately, victorious story. Your strength will serve to support others who have had or will have their own story with the senseless crime of bullying. You are appreciated.
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great story here. I’ve seen this story with a much sadder ending all around as well. I know full well the feeling of the bullied and the feeling of the rising above it to something greater. I know that “this too shall pass” and have lived it. Great post!
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Thank you, my friend for adding your thoughts and experiences to this community platform. You are appreciated.
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Pingback: Bullying | Stay At Home Mom
I like the moral of this article, and agree that standing up to bullies is the only way an /individual/ can truly escape. But most kids can’t do that. They don’t know how, and even trying is an uphill battle because our society says not to match violence with violence because the violence only escalates. That is why each and every one of us has to reinforce the credo that bullying is wrong, in every sense of the word. Legislators and schools cannot do this on their own. The man and woman on the street has to step and make it their business to protect those who cannot protect themselves.
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You are correct, in that there is no one size fits all to the approach of handling a bully. Franklin County School District has implemented a full court press, where they address the bully, the person being bullied as well as, the bystanders. The jury is out on its success or failure, but I applaud them for doing everything they can. Thanks for sharing. You are appreciated.
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I applaud Franklin County School District as well. At least, success or fail, they are taking the problem seriously.
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I like Like Like your writing, your presentation and blog. I am so happy you found my blog so I could read/experience what you offer. Thank you for choosing to follow my blog. I am going to purchase your niece’s book and combine the Reblog of this post and a review of the book.
TaTa, Cathy the Bagg Lady
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On behalf of my Niece and I…thank you. We are grateful to have this platform and seek only to spotlight, entertain, engage and make a difference when we can. Readers like yourself, inspire us. Thank you. And thank you for supporting our work. It means everything.
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You are very welcome. I will send you the link when my review is published.
Cathy
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I know that I was bullied and it has made me not want to be a bully. However, I have noticed that I have become more sarcastic as a defense mechanism, which is very hurtful to people and people may think I am doing it to be a bully. It’s something I am trying to become more aware of.
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Thank you for sharing. I think that you have taken a huge step in becoming aware of what you would like to improve about yourself. I am also sure, your brave words will help many people.
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Being bullied at work is honestly so bad because you fear that to whoever you turn to may just be your worst enemy. I confronted my bully today and although he was apologetic l refused to accept his apology. I don’t believe l have come to his level – rather the pain he has caused is far to great to deal with.
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Reblogged this on Psalm Hadassah and commented:
The reason why everyone should know the GOD of LOVE.
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